I do care, though I can’t quite say why. Something stirs in me. I don’t even know what it is. Maybe it’s just the hope that, one day, this will all make sense. I don’t regret it, not if it leads somewhere. I’m just waiting for the moment it all clicks, for that certainty, like a picture coming into focus. It won’t be long now. I’ll see soon enough if they have lied to me.
And the worst part? I already know exactly what I’ll do if they have. I’ve run through the scenarios. I’m ready for that. But if it turns out they haven’t – if that truth doesn’t come? I don’t know what that’ll mean for me.
And yes, I hate myself a bit for it. Somewhere, buried under layers of pride and logic, I want the worst to be true. What kind of person does that make me? If… maybe… this is all just meant to be.